You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize