I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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