Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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