So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
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You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
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He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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