lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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