I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i think im in europe. pls send help
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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