I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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