I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize