I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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