Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize