Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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