wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize