can we get nightvision for the apartment?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
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I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
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this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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