If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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