She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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