yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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