i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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