I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize