He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Drake has all the answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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