So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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