oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i came on her dog
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
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