I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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