Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.

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  (619): I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people. http://tfl.nu/8ypc
  Replies (2) Good night (1086) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?

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  (360): Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else? http://tfl.nu/srg3
  Replies (10) Good night (532) Bad night (2509) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.

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  (708): I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle. http://tfl.nu/qqv1
  Replies (12) Good night (468) Bad night (3943) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.

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  (765): i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER. http://tfl.nu/2z74
  Replies (25) Good night (6163) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.

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  (507): and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person. http://tfl.nu/ixis
  Replies (12) Good night (1055) Bad night (5910) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror

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  (515): I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror http://tfl.nu/xej5
  Replies (17) Good night (4961) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.

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  (404): My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck. http://tfl.nu/0ivr
  Replies (11) Good night (4558) Bad night (1124) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?

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  (405): She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after? http://tfl.nu/ibkm
  Replies (16) Good night (3438) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.

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  (330): Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered. http://tfl.nu/lz30
  Replies (8) Good night (466) Bad night (1155) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?

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  (631): yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem? http://tfl.nu/eu3b
  Replies (21) Good night (3248) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."

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  (703): You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial." http://tfl.nu/ubhg
  Replies (3) Good night (1473) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.

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  (360): High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice. http://tfl.nu/cgkk
  Replies (12) Good night (1144) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We left the knife in your bed.

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  (780): We left the knife in your bed. http://tfl.nu/mwcc
  Replies (9) Good night (438) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...

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  (269): Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still... http://tfl.nu/u0uu
  Replies (5) Good night (1049) Bad night (249)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over

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  (610): first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over http://tfl.nu/fqcy
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt

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