Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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