I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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