My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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