I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize