when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize