My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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