Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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