my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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