I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize