She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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