woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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