dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
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you win again, gameday.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
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My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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