She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
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i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
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Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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