so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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