she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
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You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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