mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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