I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize