Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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