Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize