then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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