I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
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You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
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That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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