the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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