I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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