your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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