Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize