This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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