i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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